The Sound of Happiness

When I was young, let’s say my teen years, happiness was loud. Sounds of laughter, loud music, screams from roller coasters, the phone ringing when a friend would call, traffic because I was in a car travelling to the next event, parties etc. I loved the buzz of having noise around me. I preferred visiting the city over camping and hiking. If I was alone, I turned on the television or the stereo at high volumes to have sound with me all the time. I fell asleep at night to the radio. I felt safe and I was happy.

Loch Ness
Tranquil Loch Ness


Sometime in my early twenties, that changed. I spent 4 months in England for school and when I think back to my most loved memory of that stint, it was a day spent outside Inverness, Scotland, on a rock, skipping stones on Loch Ness. We ventured away from the crowds of tourists who wanted to view the lake from Urquhart Castle and shimmied our way down an embankment with a snack of apples, crackers and cheese. There were just 3 of us, 2 other travel companions and myself. It was so tranquil. I remember being hyper-aware of the sound of each skip of the stone before the final “plop” into the lake. I felt calm and I was happy.

Soft snow falling
Gently Falling Snow

Another time, my oldest was 2 and we were at a cottage in the winter in Northern Ontario – far off the beaten path of civilization. My husband, son and I were outside playing in the snow – real snow – 5 feet deep. We were doing somersaults and jumping off the deck into the fluffy banks below. After one spectacular jump, landing on my back looking up at the giant flakes of snow gently falling from the sky, I felt I had been pulled back out of warp speed and my senses became super-attuned. It became quiet, my body completely relaxed into the snow-form my body made from my jump and I could hear the sound of every snowflake land around me. I felt love and I was happy.

Birds chirping
Early birds calling

Just this morning, being on holidays and sleeping in without the hurried routine that I am accustomed to on a “regular” day, I had the window open and I listened to the birds as they began their calls. The world was still asleep. There were no cars, back-up alarms from heavy trucks, sounds of conversation or lawn mowers. Just the sound of the birds and the trees swaying in the breeze. I felt peace and I was happy.

The sound of happiness has changed from when I was young. Once busyness and noise was necessary to feel content. Now, the absence of noise is much more profound in experiencing happiness. I still have great moments of happiness when there is lots of uproarious laughter and sounds but I do cherish the tranquil moments of silence.

What are the sounds of happiness for you?


Being Vicki

The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin
The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

I love to read. One of the books that I have revisited is “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin. I’m not that far into it but every word I have read has resonated with me and so I am engaged and inspired.  I am currently reading the “March” chapter about aiming higher and on page 72 she mentions her 1st commandment, to “Be Gretchen” and went on to say that Erasmus observed “The chief happiness for a man is to be what he is”.

What am I?  I believe it’s important to know what makes me happy, it’s a BIG part of what makes “me” me and what makes you happy makes “you” YOU.  As I was pondering my “me”ness, it occurred to me, “That’s what my blog is about” because I had so much difficulty defining what this blog was going to be or be about.  I wanted to create a blog as a therapeutic activity but also wanted to reach people.  As I continue on my “blog journey” and my “Happiness Project”, I realize this is about “Being Me”, “Being Vicki”.  It doesn’t matter if I don’t have a “niche” or that I’m not following “protocol”.  It’s time for me to be “me”.  To share what makes me happy, to provide inspiration for others who may relate, or may not, but just want to escape.  I will share what I want, when I want and if you would like to check in on my journey, please do.  If you don’t, that’s okay too.  Or maybe you just want to be here one time, or two, and that’s it.  Great!!!!  Thanks for stopping by.  If you like what I say or you don’t; wonderful!  If you hate this and it’s not your cup of tea and choose to move along looking for something that brings happiness to you because this DOES NOT, awesome – you are discovering you or pursuing you and that is so amazing.  But for me, I need to spell out what makes me happy because at the end of the day, I am the only person who I know completely and totally (or at least that’s what I’m figuring out).  I know what I feel, what I like, what I want, what I hate, what makes me cry, what makes me quiver and so on… NO ONE ELSE.  I need to BE VICKI!

Being Vicki…

I am…(and this won’t be all one post because as humans, we grow, we change, we have new experiences. For today, this is a start…)

Being Me
Being Me
  • a ginger
  • born, raised and live in Southwestern Ontario
  • crazy about my 2 sons!
  • an advocate for ADHD – someone very close to me is ADHD and he needs a lot of advocacy
  • married to a great husband who drives me crazy most of the time: either crazy in love or just plain “CRAZY”
  • one diagnosed with the Mood Disorder of Depression
  • a believer that life should be full of “memories” not necessarily “things” although sometimes “things” can lead to great “memories”

This is just the beginning.  What makes you, You?

My 7 Mental Wellness Practices

mental wellness

Living life to the fullest is my challenge everyday. As I mentioned in a previous post, I refuse to use the term “suffering with depression” or “battling depression” or just plain using the word “depression”. Just the term in itself plants a dark seed within my soul and I feel it start to fester and fight to spread its roots. But flipping it around and challenging myself to live an amazing, satisfying and meaningful life is the way I choose to view it. I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, doctor or anyone affiliated with medicine so I do not propose anything research-based or proven effectiveness but I do say these are ideas that have worked for me.  I am always tweaking, detouring and searching for new things that help me to live a fulfilling life.  This will not be the last post on this subject, I promise, as it is an everyday reality for me.  But for now… these are some things that contribute to my love for life:

1.  Meet with friends.  I make myself do it. It’s not that I don’t want to meet with friends, I just find I get caught up in the everyday stuff like laundry and cleaning the toilet. Then, before I know it, the day is gone and I have nothing memory-worthy  to show for it.   I always feel better when I spend time with friends.  They offer me support, love and some good laughs.  Great for the mood!

Attitude of Gratitude
Attitude of Gratitude

2.  Attitude of Gratitude.  Every morning or night, I think of 5 things I’m grateful for and I thank God, or the universe, for bringing those things, people or experiences into my life.  Sometimes, if it’s been a particularly rough day, I will remember that water flows freely from my tap or  that I travel to work in my own car.  Regardless, every day, I can find at least 5 things to be thankful for.

3.  Yoga.  Love, love, love yoga.  It’s exercise, relaxation and spirituality all rolled into one; great for the soul.  I have tried to get into the gym routine because I know how important exercise is to my mental health and well-being.  The truth is, I HATE IT!  I feel like I’m torturing myself.  Yoga makes me feel like I’m rewarding myself.  As my instructor says, it’s a gentle coaxing of the body as opposed to assertive pushing.  And the best part, at the end, there is at least 10 minutes of lying still and quiet. You don’t have to feel guilty for stealing a few minutes to yourself because it is a requirement of the practice.  It’s wonderful and the benefits are plenty.

ginger genie

4.  Blog.  This has been hugely therapeutic for me.  I’m a big journaller  – it helps me get my thoughts out – good or bad. Blogging allows me to get the good thoughts out in an organized manner.   It keeps me focused and it gives me the added benefit of maybe helping others.

5.  Read.  I have acquired a collection of different books over the years that I keep by my bed for when I’m settling down for the night. I will pick up different ones depending on my mood.  Some nights, I will read from my fiction novels (right now I’m working on Outlander by Diana Gabaldon), other nights I might read from “The Happiness Project” by Gretchin Rubin and still others I might tackle some spiritual reads.  Reading lets me escape or become inspired.  A fabulous book that I’ve had by my bed for years is “Simple Abundance” by Sarah Ban Breathnach.  It has an affirmation for everyday of the year to help keep your mental wellness in check.

6. Cry.  Sounds counter-productive right?  Sometimes, I just want a good cry … alone.  I don’t want sympathy, or an audience or drama.  I just want to lock the bathroom door, have a warm bubble bath and just cry in the tub.  I find it cathartic and I usually feel better after.  Sometimes, I’m not even sad, I might be touched or just feeling overwhelmed and I just want to feel those emotions wholeheartedly without being judged.

music staff

7.  Listen To Classical music.  Some of you may be thinking “ugh – that makes it worse”. I found switching the radio from my usual “hit” music to something slower, clearer and  subtler, helps to calm my mind (maybe not something like the William Tell Overture).  It makes me feel smarter too.  That’s probably psychological but if  it aids in self esteem boosting, I say, do it.