Mental Wellness – The Ginger Genie

How I Tapped Into Creativity and Joy

October 4, 2020October 4, 2020 VickiLeave a comment

Journal, Happy Journal — This is my Happy Journal

This is my “Happy” journal. It is one of hundreds of journals I have. This is one I started January 1997. It was a time when I began to grasp my mental health identity and discover strategies to live with it effectively. Up until this point, I journalled only when I was having a depressive episode and I would write all my negative thoughts on to a page to purge it. It was helpful. Sadly, I had pages and pages of anger, sadness and hurt. Pages I kept to reread and remind myself of the pain I needed to release. It was therapeutic it’s own way but not exactly uplifting.

During this particular time in my life, a lower time, I was browsing through an old book shop and I came across this journal. I am a lover of cats so it stood out to me. When I picked it up I fell in love with the pages – some blank, some with beautiful prints of cats, and some with cat quotes. It was speaking to me and I purchased it. I held on to it for a bit – afraid to christen it with content that I might later find to be unworthy. Finally, there was a day when I began. The first entry was a typical entry. I introduced myself to any future selves reading it, spoke about my journey and how that day was a new day.

There were a few entries similar to that. Then, I came to a cat page – a page that had I couldn’t write on because it was filled with a picture. I stared at it. I didn’t want to pass it by without finding a way to use that page. I wrote on the margin – a wish. One wish. Something I wanted to write down in case writing it down would turn it from a wish to a reality. Then, I wrote another wish. And then, another. Before I knew it, wishes were coming to me. Things I was hoping for; things to get excited about; things that inspired me. I paused and realized something was happening. I was generating a feeling of well-being and enthusiasm. I was using a space in a way I never had before – I was writing in different directions, using different coloured pens. I had found an inner pot of creativity that was waiting to be tapped and it was producing joy. It was wonderful and from that moment, I knew that this journal must only be for positive and creative expression. I have a need to purge the dark and unhealthy thoughts and feelings in an expressive form but not here. I have another journal for that. This one will be the one that I come back to fill me full, to spark my imagination and to challenge me to find new and different ways to be inspired.

How do you connect with that inspiration?

One Step at a Time – Lyrics (Jordin Sparks)

September 9, 2015July 2, 2018 Vicki3 Comments

Adapted from “One Step at a Time” performed by Jordin Sparks

Hurry up and wait
So close, but so far away
Everything that I’ve always dreamed of
Close enough for me to taste
But I just can’t touch

I wanna show the world, but no one knows my name yet
Wonder when and where and how I’m gonna make it
I know I can if I get the chance
In my face as the door keeps slamming
Now I’m feeling more and more frustrated
And I’m getting all kind of impatient waiting

[Chorus:]
I live and I learn to take
One step at a time
There’s no need to rush
It’s like learning to fly
Or falling in love
It’s gonna happen when it’s
Supposed to happen and I
Find the reasons why
One step at a time

I believe and I doubt
I’m confused, I got it all figured out
Everything that I’ve always wished for
Could be mine, should be mine, would be mine
If they only knew

[Chorus]

When I can’t wait any longer
But there’s no end in sight
when I need to find the strength
It’s my faith that makes me stronger
The only way I get there
Is one step at a time

[Chorus x2]

Writer(s): Robert S. Nevil, Lauren K. Evans, Mich Hansen, Jonas Jeberg, Joseph Belmaati
Copyright: Murlyn Music Publishing, Laurel Krown Music, R. Nevil Music, Cutfather Publishing Limited, Murlyn Music Publishing/ Crosstown, Joe Belmaati Publishing Limited

The Sound of Happiness

July 23, 2015July 2, 2018 VickiLeave a comment

When I was young, let’s say my teen years, happiness was loud. Sounds of laughter, loud music, screams from roller coasters, the phone ringing when a friend would call, traffic because I was in a car travelling to the next event, parties etc. I loved the buzz of having noise around me. I preferred visiting the city over camping and hiking. If I was alone, I turned on the television or the stereo at high volumes to have sound with me all the time. I fell asleep at night to the radio. I felt safe and I was happy.

Sometime in my early twenties, that changed. I spent 4 months in England for school and when I think back to my most loved memory of that stint, it was a day spent outside Inverness, Scotland, on a rock, skipping stones on Loch Ness. We ventured away from the crowds of tourists who wanted to view the lake from Urquhart Castle and shimmied our way down an embankment with a snack of apples, crackers and cheese. There were just 3 of us, 2 other travel companions and myself. It was so tranquil. I remember being hyper-aware of the sound of each skip of the stone before the final “plop” into the lake. I felt calm and I was happy.

Another time, my oldest was 2 and we were at a cottage in the winter in Northern Ontario – far off the beaten path of civilization. My husband, son and I were outside playing in the snow – real snow – 5 feet deep. We were doing somersaults and jumping off the deck into the fluffy banks below. After one spectacular jump, landing on my back looking up at the giant flakes of snow gently falling from the sky, I felt I had been pulled back out of warp speed and my senses became super-attuned. It became quiet, my body completely relaxed into the snow-form my body made from my jump and I could hear the sound of every snowflake land around me. I felt love and I was happy.

Just this morning, being on holidays and sleeping in without the hurried routine that I am accustomed to on a “regular” day, I had the window open and I listened to the birds as they began their calls. The world was still asleep. There were no cars, back-up alarms from heavy trucks, sounds of conversation or lawn mowers. Just the sound of the birds and the trees swaying in the breeze. I felt peace and I was happy.

The sound of happiness has changed from when I was young. Once busyness and noise was necessary to feel content. Now, the absence of noise is much more profound in experiencing happiness. I still have great moments of happiness when there is lots of uproarious laughter and sounds but I do cherish the tranquil moments of silence.

What are the sounds of happiness for you?

8 “FUN” Things

April 5, 2015July 2, 2018 Vicki2 Comments

Continuing with “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin, she talks about “Finding Fun”. It got me thinking about what I find fun. I know how I feel when I am HAVING fun but I can’t say as I have ever consciously thought about what it is that I seek out when I go in pursuit of “HAVING FUN”. With intentional thought, I created this list of 8 things I find fun (as of March 2015 – it is ever-changing and evolving):

8. Crafting – I don’t like to make all crafts but I do particularly like to make cards or creative ways to give simple gifts. My mom is a crafter too and so it’s even better when the 2 of us can get together and share resources, ideas and time. A pot of tea is often a must-have for a good crafting session.

7. Travel Adventures – I love to visit new places near and far. Experiencing something for the first time is exhilarating. Sometimes you find something so wonderful that you put it on a list to come back to in order to experience it more thoroughly or differently another time.

6. Girls Night/Day – As a wife and mom, I’ve discovered the awesomeness of time spent with the girls. I live with all boys so sometimes it’s the estrogen factor. Just being in the company of other women is enough to just feel fun because it’s different. Sometimes, it’s just nice to have a conversation with another adult who is not my husband. I feel with my girlfriends I don’t even have to speak and they just get me without any explanation. I find it fun just to not have to work to be understood.

5. Board Games – Great memories of times spent with family revolve around board games. I love games. I thought at first it was the competition but when I thought about all the solitary games I loved to play I decided it was the challenge. Even better to work through challenges with teammates. Not only is the challenge good for the brain but there are usually lots of laughs which exercises the soul.

4. Social media – Social media blows my mind. I can’t believe how many connections you can make, relationships you can start and things you can learn by tapping into the vastness of social media. I am taking a Social Media Marketing program and the more I learn about it the more enthralled I become. I find the philosophies, possibilities and the speed of it, fascinating. Sometimes, I get caught between embracing it and fearing it for I think it can be powerful whether used for good or bad. Of course, I strive to use its power for good.

3. Genealogy – I compare it to treasure hunting. There is always a map in the form of your family tree and you never know what information or artifacts it will lead to. I have been known to spend a nice quiet day on a weekend, travelling to cemeteries to look for resting places of my ancestors. I’m sure if you are not interested in genealogy, that might sound boring or creepy but I know there are other genealogists out there that will agree that this is a super fun way to spend a day.

2. Outdoors – Spending time with Mother Nature is a wonderful “fun” thing. It can take on so many different shapes for me. Sometimes, it’s a hike through a conservation area with my boys, a boat ride on the lake in the summer or quietly resting on a river bank reading a book. I can’t forget camping, canoeing, fishing, swimming or bird watching. Just about anything that I can do that requires me being a part of the outdoors is what I would call “fun”. Although, I must admit, add rain to any of those and the “fun” factor is gone for me. I’d have to shift to sitting on the covered deck, especially during a brilliant thunder storm, with a glass of red wine.

Oscars, The Movies — Let’s Go to The Movies

1. Watching Movies – What can I say? I LOVE movies. I love going to the theatre to watch movies, or staying at home. I find it extra fun to stream a movie on the laptop and use a DVP to project the movie on to the wall so it’s like a theatre at home. The ULTIMATE in movie watching, is project the movie on to the side of the house on a beautiful summer’s eve and have a home version of a drive-in. No movie is complete without popcorn and a coke (in my opinion). I find movies fun to watch by myself and even more fun to watch with friends and family. One of my favourite events throughout the year is the Oscars. I try to watch as many of the Oscar-nominated films as I can each year to see how well I predict the winners.

What is it that you find fun? Actually, thinking about what you find fun can be fun. 🙂

Being Vicki

February 7, 2015July 2, 2018 Vicki5 Comments

I love to read. One of the books that I have revisited is “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin. I’m not that far into it but every word I have read has resonated with me and so I am engaged and inspired. I am currently reading the “March” chapter about aiming higher and on page 72 she mentions her 1st commandment, to “Be Gretchen” and went on to say that Erasmus observed “The chief happiness for a man is to be what he is”.

What am I? I believe it’s important to know what makes me happy, it’s a BIG part of what makes “me” me and what makes you happy makes “you” YOU. As I was pondering my “me”ness, it occurred to me, “That’s what my blog is about” because I had so much difficulty defining what this blog was going to be or be about. I wanted to create a blog as a therapeutic activity but also wanted to reach people. As I continue on my “blog journey” and my “Happiness Project”, I realize this is about “Being Me”, “Being Vicki”. It doesn’t matter if I don’t have a “niche” or that I’m not following “protocol”. It’s time for me to be “me”. To share what makes me happy, to provide inspiration for others who may relate, or may not, but just want to escape. I will share what I want, when I want and if you would like to check in on my journey, please do. If you don’t, that’s okay too. Or maybe you just want to be here one time, or two, and that’s it. Great!!!! Thanks for stopping by. If you like what I say or you don’t; wonderful! If you hate this and it’s not your cup of tea and choose to move along looking for something that brings happiness to you because this DOES NOT, awesome – you are discovering you or pursuing you and that is so amazing. But for me, I need to spell out what makes me happy because at the end of the day, I am the only person who I know completely and totally (or at least that’s what I’m figuring out). I know what I feel, what I like, what I want, what I hate, what makes me cry, what makes me quiver and so on… NO ONE ELSE. I need to BE VICKI!

Being Vicki…

I am…(and this won’t be all one post because as humans, we grow, we change, we have new experiences. For today, this is a start…)

a ginger
born, raised and live in Southwestern Ontario
crazy about my 2 sons!
an advocate for ADHD – someone very close to me is ADHD and he needs a lot of advocacy
married to a great husband who drives me crazy most of the time: either crazy in love or just plain “CRAZY”
one diagnosed with the Mood Disorder of Depression
a believer that life should be full of “memories” not necessarily “things” although sometimes “things” can lead to great “memories”

This is just the beginning. What makes you, You?

My 7 Mental Wellness Practices

December 5, 2014July 2, 2018 VickiLeave a comment

Living life to the fullest is my challenge everyday. As I mentioned in a previous post, I refuse to use the term “suffering with depression” or “battling depression” or just plain using the word “depression”. Just the term in itself plants a dark seed within my soul and I feel it start to fester and fight to spread its roots. But flipping it around and challenging myself to live an amazing, satisfying and meaningful life is the way I choose to view it. I am not a psychologist, psychiatrist, doctor or anyone affiliated with medicine so I do not propose anything research-based or proven effectiveness but I do say these are ideas that have worked for me. I am always tweaking, detouring and searching for new things that help me to live a fulfilling life. This will not be the last post on this subject, I promise, as it is an everyday reality for me. But for now… these are some things that contribute to my love for life:

1. Meet with friends. I make myself do it. It’s not that I don’t want to meet with friends, I just find I get caught up in the everyday stuff like laundry and cleaning the toilet. Then, before I know it, the day is gone and I have nothing memory-worthy to show for it. I always feel better when I spend time with friends. They offer me support, love and some good laughs. Great for the mood!

2. Attitude of Gratitude. Every morning or night, I think of 5 things I’m grateful for and I thank God, or the universe, for bringing those things, people or experiences into my life. Sometimes, if it’s been a particularly rough day, I will remember that water flows freely from my tap or that I travel to work in my own car. Regardless, every day, I can find at least 5 things to be thankful for.

3. Yoga. Love, love, love yoga. It’s exercise, relaxation and spirituality all rolled into one; great for the soul. I have tried to get into the gym routine because I know how important exercise is to my mental health and well-being. The truth is, I HATE IT! I feel like I’m torturing myself. Yoga makes me feel like I’m rewarding myself. As my instructor says, it’s a gentle coaxing of the body as opposed to assertive pushing. And the best part, at the end, there is at least 10 minutes of lying still and quiet. You don’t have to feel guilty for stealing a few minutes to yourself because it is a requirement of the practice. It’s wonderful and the benefits are plenty.

4. Blog. This has been hugely therapeutic for me. I’m a big journaller – it helps me get my thoughts out – good or bad. Blogging allows me to get the good thoughts out in an organized manner. It keeps me focused and it gives me the added benefit of maybe helping others.

5. Read. I have acquired a collection of different books over the years that I keep by my bed for when I’m settling down for the night. I will pick up different ones depending on my mood. Some nights, I will read from my fiction novels (right now I’m working on Outlander by Diana Gabaldon), other nights I might read from “The Happiness Project” by Gretchin Rubin and still others I might tackle some spiritual reads. Reading lets me escape or become inspired. A fabulous book that I’ve had by my bed for years is “Simple Abundance” by Sarah Ban Breathnach. It has an affirmation for everyday of the year to help keep your mental wellness in check.

6. Cry. Sounds counter-productive right? Sometimes, I just want a good cry … alone. I don’t want sympathy, or an audience or drama. I just want to lock the bathroom door, have a warm bubble bath and just cry in the tub. I find it cathartic and I usually feel better after. Sometimes, I’m not even sad, I might be touched or just feeling overwhelmed and I just want to feel those emotions wholeheartedly without being judged.

7. Listen To Classical music. Some of you may be thinking “ugh – that makes it worse”. I found switching the radio from my usual “hit” music to something slower, clearer and subtler, helps to calm my mind (maybe not something like the William Tell Overture). It makes me feel smarter too. That’s probably psychological but if it aids in self esteem boosting, I say, do it.

Mental Health Conversation

September 15, 2014July 2, 2018 VickiLeave a comment

Depression Doesn't Have to Own Us — Depression Doesn’t Have to Own Us

I live with depression. I choose not to say “suffering” or “battling” because I also believe in the Law of Attraction and I work VERY hard to manifest positive outcomes in my life. It doesn’t own or control me but there are things that I need to do to live fully despite it.

I chose to post about this because I want people to know. I want to be a resource for others who also live with depression. Our world has created such a stigma around mental health that many try to hide their condition or ignore it and pretend nothing is going on. They live in a shadow and assume that is just how it is. It’s time to start talking and change this perception. One in 10 Canadians will experience a major episode of depression at least once in their lifetime. Many will do nothing and truly suffer. No need. There is help and if we can change this global misconception that depression is just in “someone’s head” and is shameful, what a better world it will be for EVERYONE. A great place to start is DepressionHurts.ca.

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